STEP 22 HUMBLING OURSELVES
On the Many Forms of Vainglory
Vainglory = extreme self-pride and boastfulness
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, Phil 2:3
Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other Gal 5:26
Vainglory = inordinate pride in oneself or one's achievements; excessive vanity…
According to St. Thomas Aquinas, "glory" denotes someone's excellence being known and approved by others. He explains that there is nothing wrong with others recognizing our good qualities and deeds. In fact, seeking to live in a way that inspires others to give glory to God and to pursue a more virtuous life is good. Jesus Himself said, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven" (Mt. 5:16).
However, seeking human praise for its own sake is sinful. Such a person wants glory for himself more than he wants glory for God. He wants to receive the praise of men, which is a vain glory that is empty, fickle, and often off the mark.
Some like to distinguish vainglory from pride, and to give it a special place and chapter.
With regard to its form, vainglory is a change of nature, a perversion of character…. (Vainglory is) a child of unbelief, the precursor of pride, shipwreck in harbor, an ant on the threshing-floor which, though small, has designs upon all one's labor and fruit. The ant waits for the gathering of the wheat, and vainglory for the gathering of the riches of virtue, for the one loves to steal and the other to squander.
Each one of us can easily relate to what St. John is describing in this step. Vainglory is the beginning of pride; it is the congratulation of self for work well done. It is the desire to be recognized by others; the love of praise. John writes: "The spirit of despair exults at the sight of mounting vice, the spirit of vainglory at the sight of the growing treasures of virtue."
What are the signs that we have succumbed to this passion and been overwhelmed by this demon? John list several. Vainglory enters our lives when we grow concerned about what other people think about us. It puts down its roots into our hearts when we begin to worry about their disapproval and to be pleased by their approval. It captures our hearts when we enjoy their words of praise. It takes over our hearts when we begin to work for these words of praise that bring us joy.
A vainglorious man is a believer, and an idolater. Apparently honoring God, he actually is out to please not God but men. To be a showoff is to be vainglorious.
Every lover of self-display is vainglorious. The fast of the vainglorious person is without reward and his prayer is futile, because he does both for the praise of men.
A vainglorious ascetic is cheated both ways: he exhausts his body, and he gets no reward.
Who will not laugh at the vainglorious worker, standing for psalmody and moved by this passion, now to laughter and then to tears for all to see!
God often hides from our eyes even those perfections that we have obtained. But he who praises us or, rather, misleads us, opens our eyes by his praise, and as soon as our eyes are opened, our treasure vanishes.
The flatterer is a servant of devils, a guide to pride, a destroyer of contrition, a ruiner of virtues, a misleader. Those who pronounce you blessed, lead you astray, says the prophet. (Isa 3:12)
Men of high spirit can endure offense nobly and willingly. But only the holy and the saintly can pass unscathed through praise.
How can we conquer vainglory? John is very clear in his instructions. "The first step is overcoming vainglory is to remain silent and accept dishonor gladly. The middle step is to check every act of vainglory while it is still in thought. The end (insofar as one may talk of an end to an abyss) is to be able to accept humiliation before others without actually feeling it." These words are so easy to type and to read - - but not so easy to put into practice.
If there is one thing that we have been trained to do in our modern world, is to sell ourselves, to get ourselves noticed, to push ourselves forward. We are taught from an early age to “dress for success.” As modern people, we are obsessed with our external appearance, controlled by the opinions of others, and overwhelmed by the need to fix it.
It is easy to bring this attitude into the practice of our faith - to lose perspective and to begin to live our lives to please the crowd.
The key is our attitude!!! Why are we doing what we are doing?
So the question is: How can we tell? One way to find out is to ask ourselves the following questions:
"Does my behavior change when no one can see me and when no one is around?" "Do I find myself telling others about all my spiritual efforts and blessings?" "Do I find myself replaying what others have said to me or what I have said to them over and over again in my mind?" "Do I act and talk as if I have experiential knowledge of spiritual truths that I have only read about?" "Do I become discouraged and quit when no one notices what I do or when I do not receive the praise and thanksgiving I think I deserve?" "Do I hide my sins and failings from others, even to the point of lying or shading the truth so that my true faults are not discovered by others?" "Do I become defensive when I am criticized? Do I feel the need to always make sure that everyone knows why I did something?"
If we answer (yes) to any of these, then the spirit of vainglory lives within us… Let us not be overly discouraged or depressed by this, but let us repent….
I have seen people mourning who, on being praised, flared up in anger; and as at a public gathering one passion gave place to another.
It is a great work to shake from the soul the praise of men, but to reject the praise of demons is greater.
Vainglory makes those who are preferred, proud, and those who are slighted, resentful.
Vainglory is often the cause of dishonor instead of honor, because it brings great shame to its enraged disciples.
It has great ambition for natural gifts, and through them often hurls its wretched slaves to destruction.
He who has sold himself to vainglory leads a double life. Outwardly he lives with monks, but in mind and thought he is in the world.
If we ardently desire to run towards the state of wellbeing on high, we should be eager to taste the glory that is above. He who has tasted that will despise all earthly glory.
It often happens that having been left naked by vainglory, we turn around and strip it ourselves more cleverly. For I have encountered some who embarked on the spiritual life out of vainglory, making therefore a bad start, and yet finished up in a most admirable way because they changed their intentions.
John knows that we must work to gradually change our intentions. His advice as always is very practical. "If ever we seek glory, if it comes our way uninvited, or if we plan some course of action because of vainglory, we should think of our mourning and of the blessed fear on us as we stood alone in prayer before God. If we do this we will assuredly outflank shameless vainglory, that is, if our wish for true prayer is genuine. This may be insufficient. In which case let us briefly remember that we must die. Should this also prove ineffective, let us at least go in fear of the shame that always comes after honor, for assuredly he who exalts himself will be humbled not only there but here also. When those who praise us, or rather, those who lead us astray begin to exalt us, we should briefly remember the multitude of our sins and in this way we will discover that we do not deserve whatever is said or done in our honor."
It is very interesting that St. John insists that the battle against pride is either won or lost on the ground of vainglory.
One who had the gift of sight told me what he had seen. 'Once,' he said, 'when I was sitting in assembly, the demon of vainglory and the demon of pride came and sat beside me, one on either side. The one poked me in the side with the finger of vainglory and urged me to relate some vision or labor which I had done in the desert. But as soon as I had shaken him off, saying: ‘Let them be turned back and confounded that desire evils for me’ then the demon on my left at once said in my ear: ‘Well done, well done, you have become great by conquering my shameless mother.’ Turning to him, I made apt use of the rest of the verse and said: ‘Let them be turned back straightway in shame that say unto me: Well done! well done l’ And to my question: 'How is vainglory the mother of pride?' he replied: 'Praises exalt and puff one up; and when the soul is exalted, then pride seizes it, lifts it up to heaven and casts it down to the abyss.'
There is a glory that comes from the Lord, for He says: Those who glorify Me, I will glorify." And there is a glory that dogs us through diabolic intrigue, for it is said: Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you. You may be sure that it is the first kind of glory when you regard it as harmful and avoid it in every possible way, and hide your manner of life wherever you go. But the other you will know when you do something, however trifling, hoping that you will be observed by men."
Abominable vainglory suggests that we should pretend to have some virtue that we do not possess, spurring us on by the text: ‘Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works.'
When we invite glory, or when it comes to us from others uninvited, or when out of vainglory we decide upon a certain course of action, we should remember our mourning and should think of the holy fear with which we stood before God in solitary prayer; and in this way we shall certainly put shameless vainglory out of countenance--if we really have concern for true prayer. If this is insufficient, then let us briefly recollect our departure. And if this is also ineffective, at least let us fear the shame that follows honor. ‘For he who exalts himself will be humbled’ not only there, but certainly here as well.
When our praisers, or rather our seducers, begin to praise us, let us briefly call to mind the multitude of our sins, and we shall find ourselves unworthy of what is said or done in our honor.
No doubt there are certain prayers of some vainglorious people that deserve to be heard by God; but the Lord has a habit of anticipating their prayers and petitions so that their conceit should not be increased because their prayers have succeeded.
Simpler people are not much infected with the poison of vainglory, because vainglory is a loss of simplicity and an insincere way of life.
"A worm, fully grown, often sprouts wings and can fly up high. Vainglory, fully grown, can give birth to pride, which is the beginning and the end of all evil."
What a valuable insight for the spiritual life. What a great source of hope it is to know that we can deal a fatal blow to our pride by working on our attachment to the praise of others.
Again, this is not easy. But the promise St. John holds out should be enough to make us keep trying:
"Anyone free from this sickness is close to salvation," but he who is not free from it is far from the glory of the Saints. This is the twenty-second step. He who is not caught by vainglory will never fall into that mad pride which is so hateful to God.
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